Why Am I Purple?
by COTk-MC
Summary: Hiccup is awake. Jack is fast asleep. Hiccup finds a Sharpie. What next? AU Drabble from hell because my friend won't stop giving me ideas.


**COTk: This here is another drabble that was requested by a lovely friend of mine.**

For hours now, Hiccup had laid awake. Hours! And it just wasn't right. Considering that Jack Freaking' Frost-Butt was snoring horribly, while also not-so-horribly naked, right next to him. All this even after several of not so gentle nudges to get him to. Stop. Snoring.

All for nothing, though. So he sat up, tired as hell, but finding no way that he could get some sleep anytime soon. Looking around, he spotted something that would most definitely make his night so much better; a purple Sharpie.

Oh, this was going to be good. Very good...

Grabbing the marker off the bedside table, he turned to face Jack, throwing the blankets completely off of the bed. He uncapped the marker, leaning in close to the sleeping Jack, trying to think of what it was he was going to doodle.

Suddenly, he decided on everything. Hiccup was going to draw anything an everything on Jack's naked, unsuspecting body. Starting with a fish. Because purple was Hiccup's favorite fish. And that made sence in his sleep-deprived state of mind that he wasn't even going to question what it even meant.

And a little under three hours later, he had nearly completely covered the front half of Jack in purple lines and scribbles that ranged from a Girrafe, to a house made of flowers. He even went as far as to make Jack's whole cratch area an intricately detailed elephant's head. His nipples... He didn't even know how to describe those squiggly lines and boxes. He had to lift lift Jack's arms and legs to get everywhere with the purple felt of doom. But the reaction he pictured in his head was well worth all the trouble.

Now, the only problem; should he flip the ass over and draw on his back? Or just leave things the way they were?

He was going to flip him over. Why? Because Jack was still snoring, there was no way Hiccup was going to bed now, and because there were only a few more hours until the sun started to rise up over the mountains.

Hiccup applied the lid to the marker and put it in his mouth for safe keeping. Now came the hard part; flipping Jack Frost over without waking him up.

Having to wiggle his hands underneath Jack, Hiccup tried to gently roll him over. And by gently, I mean he just flipped him over without any remorse or hesitation... No guilt at all, either, really.

Quickly, he set off to work, starting jut below Jack's hair line, drawing so many different things like snow flakes to Sam and Dean Winchester's car. And as he made his way lower, he ran out of ideas for pictures and just started writing instead. Drawing an arrow that pointed to Jack's butt crack with big, wiggly letters that read 'Snotlout Parking Only'. He then decided to draw again and drew a hideous unicorn right next to it. Then he got down to Jack's butt cheeks, which he drew plenty of little penises on each. With a much large one on his leg pointing up towards the crack and disappearing off somewhere inside.

Lifting his leg up as much as he could, he doodled sharks eating mermaids for some reason. It was horrible.

Then Jack started to stir in his sleep, and Hiccup dropped the leg in mild panic, which jolted Jack awake faster than Hiccup would have thought possible.

"Wha-, what's going on!?" Jack slurred, pushing himself up on his arms and looked around.

When his eyes stopped on Hiccup, and he saw that he was holding an open Sharpie that was pointed at him, he looked down at his once pale person.

"Why the Hell am I purple!?" He yelled, looking at Hiccup again before looking back at the damage that could have been inflicted to his back half. His eyes went wide when he spotted all the dicks on his ass. "And why is my butt like penis-heaven!?"

At that, all Hiccup could do was chuckle. And when he was done with that, he mumbled "Purple is my favorite fish." Giving Jack a toothy grin before closing the cap to the Sharpie, threw it at Jack before he laid back down and attempted to get at least some sleep.

And all Jack could do was stare at his deleriously horrendous boyfriend like he was on some sort of horrible, mind altering crack that should never have been made.

"Okay..." Jack said, getting up off the bed so he could go take a shower and get at least some of the purple.

And once he closed the door to the bathroom, the only thing that could be heard from the other side was "AN WHY THE HELL ARE MY EYES GIANT FLOWERS!?"

Hiccup chuckled again in his half-asleep daze.


End file.
